Everyone Wants to be a Genius
by mabelreid
Summary: One Shot Parody Reid is once again kidnapped but this time the rest of the team is there and enduring their worst nightmares.  Only Reid can save them


Disclaimer: see my profile

a/n hello all this story is set in the near future after JJ departs so you won't see her. Please enjoy another Reid gets kidnapped story with a bit of a twist.

When he opened his eyes to the gun pointed at his heart, all he could do was sigh in exasperation. Once again, he had managed to get into some kind of life threatening jeopardy without knowing how it came about. At least he didn't have a hangover from a drugging. How had the man in front of him brought him there?

"Stand up Dr. Reid." The man said gesturing with his gun.

Reid stood up from the narrow cot in the small windowless room. "What do you want?"

"That's for later. For now, I want to show you your friends and what will keep happening to them if you don't do what I say."

"Leave my friends alone." Reid tried to speak with bravado, but his voice shook.

"Just get moving," The man, gestured with the gun to the door at the other side of the small room.

Reid preceded him out of the room and down a narrow hallway. He noticed five other doors as they walked and wondered if he could dive into one before the man shot him.

"Don't even think about it Dr. Reid. All the doors are locked anyway." He felt the business end of the gun grind into his back.

"Open the door…" The man ordered as they approached a door at the other end of the hall.

He opened it to see a small, dark room with a bank of security monitors. One each of them was an image of one member of his team.

"Let them go," Reid shouted at the man.

"I don't think so… Not until you do exactly what I want you to do."

Reid shivered. "What do you want?"

The man ignored him. "First I'm going to show you what will happen if you don't cooperate. Push the red button there." He ordered.

Reid pushed the button and the first monitor showing Garcia sprang into life. "Talk," the man directed.

"Garcia," Reid inwardly cursed his cracking voice.

"Is that you Reid?" She shouted back. "Where are you?"

"I'm in some kind of control room. How are you?" He asked inanely.

She faced the monitor as though she could see him. Tears were coursing down her cheeks. Her red hair, grey in the black and white of the monitor, stood up from her head in tight pigtails and she wore some kind of dangling earrings. It was Penelope Garcia and not some kind of trick.

"I'm fine," She said her voice shaking in a way he'd never heard. "Don't do what he wants baby cakes no matter what he does to us."

"Garcia… I don't understand what's going on."

She looked like she was in the same kind of room he'd awoken in just minutes ago. She didn't look hurt or in torture, but who knew what was happening to her?

"Its okay sugar, I'll be okay here alone." Her voice shook like someone was shaking her.

"I promise I'll find a way -"

The man pushed another button on the console and cut of Reid's sentence. "That's enough, pretty boy."

"What are you doing to her? If you touch her -"

The man laughed. "I haven't touched her. She's perfectly fine."

Reid grabbed the man's arm ignoring the gun in his other hand. "She's almost hysterical. What have you done to her?"

"Back off Dr. Reid…" The man yanked his arm out of Reid's grasp. "The sooner you cooperate the sooner Ms. Penelope Garcia can have her laptop back."

"NO!" Reid shouted in absolute horror. "Lock me up here for the rest of my life, but don't torture her like that. She can't live that way."

"It's all up to you Dr Reid." The man's brown eyes twinkled at him. "I think we'll see what's happening with the rest of your team."

He gestured with his gun for Reid to tap the second red button on the console. This time the monitor showing Hotch lit up.

"Hotch…"

"Reid is that you?" His unit chief looked up in surprise and resignation.

"Yes sir…"

"So they got you too."

"Yes sir," he watched as Hotch scratched at his arm.

"Don't listen to them or give them what they want." Hotch began to pace as the camera pulled away to a wider shot and followed his movement.

"They?" Reid asked.

"There has to be more than one to pull this off." Hotch reached up under his shirt and itched at his chest.

"What's wrong? What did he do to you?" Reid demanded realizing that Hotch wore a polo shirt and a pair of jeans.

"It's okay Reid just use that brain of yours and figure a way out of here. You can't give them what they want." He scratched at his neck around the collar of his shirt as he spoke.

"But I don't understand." The man snapped off the volume. "Are you ready to talk?"

"What did you do to him?" Reid demanded in a low voice, but he kept his distance from the man this time.

"We merely gave him a change of wardrobe. No more suits and ties, just jeans and tee shirts."

"On a week day," Reid's voice flew into the squeak zone as JJ called it. "He never wears jeans to work."

"I know that," the man said happily. "It looks like his body's producing a strong psychosomatic reaction to the wrong clothes on the wrong day. He's got quite a rash going on there." His captor howled with laughter.

Reid felt his hands bunching up into fists. He couldn't let his friends suffer like this. Who knew what other horrible tortures they would endure if he didn't cooperate.

The man instructed him to hit the third red button on the computer console. This time it was Morgan's face and voice he could hear.

Morgan sat in one corner of the room with his knees up to his chest. He rocked back and forth like a badly frightened young child. He keened to himself in nonsense words that Reid couldn't make out.

"Morgan," He said very clearly. "Can you hear me?"

His large friend rocked faster in his corner. His eyes scanned the floor in front of him as though he could see something the rest of them couldn't see.

"Morgan, its Reid." He repeated glaring at the grinning man next to him.

Morgan spoke in a very small voice. "Spencer… I'm scared."

"It's okay Derek. I'll get you out of there." His hands shook with fury at the sight of his friend reduced to a scared kid.

"What did you do to him?" Reid shouted at the man next to him.

"Calm down before you burst a blood vessel." His captor said calmly. "Your friend will survive. I simply gave him a little dose of a compound I created just for this situation. He'll get the antidote as soon as you tell me what I want to know. It's called 'Wimp' I think I'll market it when this is over."

"I'm going to kill you." Reid shouted.

"You won't touch me." The man gestured with his gun reminding Reid just who was in charge. "I'm the one with the gun and your friend's antidote. In fact," He smiled brightly "There's another antidote you'll need that you won't get unless you're a good boy."

"What d-do you m-mean?" His voice trembled to hard he could barely get the words out of his mouth.

"You'll see, push the next button Dr. Reid."

Reid reached out a shaking finger to the next button. The monitor sprang to life showing Emily sitting on the edge of her cot in another room with one window high in the far wall.

"Emily…"

"Hey Reid," She looked at the camera with a large smile on her face.

"Are you okay?" He asked in a quaking voice, afraid of what his captor did to her.

"I am just fine. I've never been better." She said but her eyes told a different story.

"Are you sure?" You don't look fine." He blurted out.

"I'm really okay Reid." Her eyes flicked to the left and she frowned.

"Why are you lying to me?" Reid demanded.

"I'm not lying to you Reid. I never tell a lie you know that. I'm peachy…" She insisted twisting her hands in her lap."

"What have you done to her?" He shouted.

The man shut off Emily's camera and the microphone with one flick of his wrist. "I gave her a little something that makes her lie. She's now incapable of telling the truth. If you play the game then she'll get the antidote."

"Why are you doing all of this? What do you want from me?"

"Push the last button Dr. Reid." He pointed with this gun to the last red button along the computer console.

Rossi's image appeared on the screen along with someone he never expected to see. They were arguing vigorously.

"… Tell me what to do. I'm going to get us out of here." Rossi was shouting.

"Rossi," Reid said faintly.

Rossi and Section Chief Strauss faced the camera. "Dr. Reid? Get us out of here!" She said wrapping her words in cold command.

"I don't -"

"What's the matter Erin?" Rossi said sarcastically. "Are you breaking under the pressure so soon?"

"I told you to keep your mouth shut. I'll handle this." She snapped at him. "Whoever you are out there, you're holding federal officers. Let us go or I'll have you sent away for the rest of your natural life."

"Oh that's a scary threat." Rossi taunted. "Why don't you go sit down over there and let me do the talking?"

"Agent Rossi, I'm warning you -" Strauss left her seat on the cot and stood toe to toe with Rossi, her hands on her hips.

"You, warn me," he began to laugh. "Now that's funny." He looked up at the monitor. "Don't worry about us Reid. Get yourself out of here if you can. Don't give them what they want."

"Give them whatever they want." Strauss contradicted Rossi, shoving him from in front of the camera. "I am ordering you to do what they want Dr. Reid. Do you hear me?"

"Don't listen to her Reid."

The man shut down the camera. "Geez… Those two really do hate each other. It's too bad they'll stay locked up until you do as I say."

"You're sick," Reid spat out. "Just tell me what you want and be done with it."

"It's not what I want, it's what we want." The man said.

He opened the door and gestured for Reid to precede him again. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what you want from me."

The man cocked his gun, the sound, the loudest thing in the room to Reid. "I said… Get going," He ordered through gritted teeth.

"You won't kill me because you need me." Reid said, despite the trembling in his legs.

"You're right…" The man stepped out the door. "Why don't I kill Ms. Garcia?"

"No," Reid grabbed his arm. "I'll do whatever you want."

The man led him along the corridor past the rooms he knew led to his team, but he couldn't do anything for them but cooperate with this man. They entered an elevator and the man hit the button for the basement. The ride ended much faster than he expected, giving him little time to consider his predicament. He reached into the pocket of his slacks and touched the medallion he carried with him. It's smooth and raised texture calmed his heart a little and it gave him an idea.

"Stop here," the man said.

He opened another door and pushed Reid inside. There were two other men sitting in wooden chairs at the far end of the large room. "Finally," one of the men exclaimed. "It took you long enough Steve."

"I told you, no names," the first man snapped.

The third man just sat there looking at them with amusement in his eyes. "He's not what I expected. He's skinny."

"I didn't pick him for his looks."

"What do you want?" Reid shouted losing the last of his patience.

"We want that big brain of yours," the first man said.

"I'm not interested in helping you do anything illegal." Reid told them.

They all began to laugh. "We're not looking for a partner Dr. Reid," the first man said.

They all stared at him and his heart began its frantic dance in his chest. "Then… What do you want from me?"

"We told you," the second man said as if he were monumentally stupid. "We want your brain?"

The first and the second man grabbed him from either side and dragged him to a table that looked like an autopsy table at the far end of the room. "No!" Reid panicked and began struggling and kicking against his captors.

"Don't worry…" The first man said, "I developed a way to transfer brain power from one person to another. I'm just going to siphon off some of that intellect into all of our brains. You have enough to go around. You'll be a vegetable when it's over, which is regrettable, but -"

"Wait!" Reid shouted. "Let me show you another way." He insisted.

"You don't have anything to bargain with," said the third man.

"I have something to show you that will change your minds."

He wrenched an arm from the first man and reached into his pocket. He pulled out his one-year medallion and held it up to the light falling over them from above. He angled it so it blinded the men. "Look at the coin boys." He said. "Relax and follow the coin."

He began to twist his hand from side to side so that the coin showed front then back. "Look at the coin and listen to the sound of my voice. The first man relaxed his grip on the gun and it clattered to the floor. Reid kicked it away as he moved the coin from heads to tails. "You're feeling very relaxed." He said in a soothing low tone.

The second man's mouth dropped open and he began to drool. "Close your eyes and relax." Reid said.

All of them closed their eyes, their hands dropping to their sides as Reid spoke to them. "Now… Listen carefully to my voice. When I count back from three to one you will wake up and release my friends and myself from here. You will give Emily and Morgan the antidotes they need and then you'll drive to the nearest police station and turn yourselves in for your crimes."

The three men nodded in agreement. "I'm going to count down and when I do you'll wake feeling refreshed and awake. You will never again try to use your plan on me or anyone else. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir," The agreed in unison.

**cmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcm**

"So you're telling us you used your medallion to hypnotize them into giving up." Morgan said looking very skeptical as they left the hospital.

"Yeah… I didn't have to shoot anyone and you're all okay." He said proudly.

"Very good work," Strauss said as though he were her new best friend. "I expect everyone's reports on my desk by eight am tomorrow morning."

She left them standing there as her husband pulled up to the curb in a small foreign car. "She's something else. She panics and tells Reid to give those idiots whatever they want and once it's all over she's the Queen of the BAU again." Rossi said.

"Did you expect anything different?" Emily asked.

"I'm just glad it's over," Garcia said.

"I agree mama," he slung an arm around her shoulder in the strong afternoon sunlight.

"Thanks for not panicking and getting us out of there," Emily hugged him.

"Yeah, thanks a lot," Rossi said as Hotch actually smiled at him.

"You all owe me." Reid said proudly.

"Don't get cocky kid." Morgan said. "Next time you might not be so lucky."

"I don't do find trouble on purpose Morgan," Reid said indignantly as they waited for taxis to take them home.

"You just keep telling yourself that and someday it might be true." Morgan teased.


End file.
